Take Mom to the Prom Again Logo
When my oldest son started eleventh grade of high school, one of the first things I got excited about was the fact he could now ask someone to the junior/senior prom. I had watched all the adorable "prom proposals" and prom pictures on social media from friends for quite some fourth dimension, and I couldn't expect for information technology to be MY turn.
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I envisioned that my son and I—together—would go tuxedo shopping, selection out the perfect corsage, decide what lovely eating house he would take his date for dinner, and of course, we'd pour over viral YouTube clips of ingenious and creative prom proposals. And and then I'd assistance him execute the perfect ane. She'd say yes, and the prom planning political party could officially begin.
So, when that following spring my son showed zero interest in the whole prom scene, I was shocked and saddened. Why didn't he want to go? What was he agape of? Doesn't he know this is a big bargain! He but cannot miss this! Prom is the ultimate teenage rite of passage!
I thought he absolutely had to go, and I was prepared to forcefulness the effect because I'grand the parent.
I know what'south best for him, and I know for a fact that later on in life he will always regret NOT going to his high school prom. (Parent mistake #1—your regrets are not their regrets.)
I spent the weeks leading up to prom urging, prodding, and pleading with him to find a date and start making plans, all to no avail. He ignored my attempts at telling him what was best for him (go figure), merely finally snagged a date at the last minute—admitting without the standard social media-worthy prom proposal.
He didn't desire to rent a tux just chose a bones suit instead, and I was the one who picked out the corsage.
And on the night of prom, he eschewed my request at letting me come to the home they were all meeting at for flick-taking before they headed off to the event. He wanted no gamble of his picture gracing the pages of my Facebook feed.
The prom dance was officially over at x:xxx p.m. He promptly collection his appointment habitation and was back at our house before 11 p.m. Suffice it to say, prom was not his cup of tea. I'one thousand pretty certain he merely went through the motions to please me, get me off his dorsum, or both.
That was a fault I did not echo with my 2nd son when he became an upperclassman. I never brought upwards the "p" word, nor did I ask him if he or whatsoever of his friends had plans to go. I made it a non-effect, and by doing then, allowed him to take the reins of his high school experience.
Because that is what it is—HIS high school experience. If he wanted to go I'd help—simply but if asked. Other than that, it was his deal.
All besides oft, parents of high schoolers find themselves trying to 'relive' their ain high schoolhouse years through their children. It's possible that we are the ones with regrets and what ifs, and in guild to prevent our children from having the aforementioned, we think we have a adventure at a practice-over with our kids. Simply anyone with teenagers knows that forcing something on them that they are neither ready for nor open to is 100% an do in futility.
Because of the insanity that modern prom has become—as well equally the style information technology's portrayed on social media—information technology'south non surprising that many high schoolers shy away from information technology. Not going to prom has become an understandable choice. Boys take the added pressure of having to enquire their appointment to prom in a very public and uncommonly artistic way, which can lead to complete embarrassment if she says no.
And at many schools, prom apparel shopping is now a socially shared experience, with girls posting their chosen dress on school accounts to stake "claim" to a certain dress. Add limo rides, rented hotel rooms for afterward parties, and v-course dinners, and some upkeep-conscious kids are wisely choosing to sit down prom out.
My son—the i who was less than thrilled with the whole prom experience—is in college at present and has no residual effects or regrets nearly non taking it over the top when he had the chance. He tin can say he took a few pictures and fabricated an appearance at the dance, and both he and I ended up being content enough with that.
One night in fancy wearing apparel does not a high school experience make, and prom is not the "end all be all" of experiences that we have propped it up to be. For many teens (my son included) there are many more memorable days and nights in loftier school than prom nighttime, and non wanting to go is neither abnormal or uncommon.
Does your teen need to say no?
Perchance choosing to skip out on prom tin can be a new trend today'due south teenagers ignite—at least until nosotros tin return prom to sane, manageable, and dare I say, an erstwhile-fashioned level. That'due south something both teens and their parents can get behind.
Source: https://yourteenmag.com/teenager-school/teens-high-school/not-going-to-prom
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